Chapter 4
Let’s talk about the shortage of good men. Is there? Surely, I’m not The Only Exception and a Halo is questionable.J There‘s good guys out there. It just so happens you’re looking in all the wrong places. Do yourself a favor and stop looking; life happens when you allow it. Problem is: He’s standing two feet in front of you & he doesn’t fit your preconceived notion of Mr. Wonderful.
Let’s say for example you’re set up on a blind date or meet online. Your phone and online conversations seem to “fit the bill”, do all the things a fairytale describes. He was raised well, has a great job (or aspirations), career or business, and believes chivalry isn’t dead (look this word up in a dictionary when you find it). Consider this seriously. The saying “nice guys finish last” comes from somewhere. When you actually meet - you see he has misrepresented his Online profile. He was funny, great conversation, and a genuinely good time. You admit there was chemistry BUT definitely not a Jacob or Edward (Twilight speak for those not avid readers). So, you didn’t want him ~ Figures! This poor soul now seems confused and is prepared to accept his fate: that the Good Girls are already taken.
Fast forward - you are pursued by the preconceived Mr. Wonderful you met In Da Club, school, or a friend’s house who behaves as though I’m Bador I’m Awesome .
Preconceived Mr. Wonderful says things to you like:
Sexy Can I, Buy You A Drank cause’ I want One More Drank.
What’s your preference you Sexy Bitch, Gin and Juice or Black Velvet
Say Aah’
Or would you prefer something sweet as Candy like you?
I have a Lollipop.
See a pattern of intrigue?
Could be you’re seduced by Cowboy Casanova, who lets you know through his actions/words that he’s only going to Break Your Heart . You insist on telling everyone there Ain’t No Other Man and declare on Facebook Baby It’s You . Meanwhile, back at the ranch, he’s telling his boys “She ain’t going to Tie Me Down ” however, (if you look) his body language says he Don’t Wanna Be A Player no more.
The Problem: he can’t keep his hands out of the Cookie Jar .
Finding a girl like this is truly a dream come true or, Is it Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me )? You’ll be at his beck and call, the girl who says “Its Gonna Be Love no matter what.”
The day would be consumed by his every move. The Conversation:
“What are doing?”
“How was your day?”
“Did you think about me?
“Can I do anything for you?
“What are we doing today?
“I Love You” followed by silence. (Crickets anyone)
Oh My Gosh. STM!
Where is your someone who will Cater 2 U? This track leads to….eventually forgetting about yourself, just to have him. Your Starstruck yet he hasn’t accomplished a damn thing.
He’s only somebody to you. You will be what I consider, “not present” in your own life.
Like, you went to Vegas and now somehow don’t know your Last Name. Okay… a stretch; but you get what I’m saying. It’s known to happen. And yes, you’ll have a story where you can Blame It on the alcohol.
Women’s magazine say: men lie, cheat, have commitment issues, lack intimacy, are not easy to please - Hot N Cold , think about sex 24/7. We sound like Nasty Boys. We can’t say this for sure, yet you still want us. Now I’m really confused. I thought girls didn’t like boys; girls like cars and money. Which is it? Actually this might be a true statement now that I Kissed A Girl has turned into a worldwide phenomenon. We know you want the complete package and to be Happy but that’s asking a lot (kidding). Let’s be honest; two people getting married or engaged that really didn’t take the time to get to know each other prior to exchanging last names is a foolish Teenage Dream (and not just reserved for teens.) The Love Story will be Impossible to complete with rash decisions like this.
I read an article in the February 2004, issue of MORE magazine that quoted John Mellencamp, as saying “Men aren’t worth a damn until they’re forty”. I think he might be right and that’s pushing it. This particular article was titled The Secret Lives of Men, What women don’t know about men. Amazing how much women will tolerate from men and for how long. No doubt relationships are complicated; however, choosing to end it and run isn’t right either.
Self reflection is a large part of the learning process, where seemingly good things go bad. This process continues to scaffold until you become quite confident using your intuition and prior experience in all you endeavor.
Keep in mind; a reasonable timetable is needed to make necessary changes regarding your life journey – relationships, education, friendships, and your long term goals.
Reading a blog recently, someone wrote a true partner is one that understands a relationship is more than love and sex. I agree but not much more… until around age forty. Dedication and work on both sides is necessary as you encounter rough patches, disappointments, and disagreements. We’re all just Ordinary People, capable of Extraordinary things.
Is it difficult to show someone you love them on a daily basis? Why wait to find out How To Save A Life? Begin your skills practice early for sound decision making and do it With Love. Make a commitment to yourself that he or She Will Be Loved and make it a reality.
It’s that simple. No one says that love will last forever but Hit Me With Your Best Shot
I’ve heard it’s what we fight for that makes us who we are, I say….within reason.
Remember: Don’t get crazy, Some people will and do take advantage of your ability to forgive and forget. Your skills practice will sharpen your senses in ways to forgive. You don’t learn if you forget, and above all, just don’t dwell. Dwelling translates into Heartbreak Warfare; nobody wins.
Meanwhile precious time has passed you by in your whirlpool:
lost months
sometimes years.
Learn the art of letting go, or you’ll create your own prison. Author Jim Rohn says Learn to Discipline Your Disappointments and “Let the obvious be your best teacher.” This way you can avoid saying I’m Not Your Puppet. Former First Lady Betty Ford said it best “Don’t compromise yourself; you are all you’ve got.”
I’m a big believer in You loving yourself to the tenth degree because only You can.
You’re the one person you never turn your back on. You are The Prize still capable of loving you and someone else. When you get to the point where you feel you’re in love it’s okay to feel this way. Realize that loving him doesn’t mean you should turn on you or your family just to be with him. If you do - you’ll be saying ‘love stop making a fool of me', that’s just Silly.
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This is a test of who you are and how you feel about yourself. There are 40 questions which will help determine where you are on the Power Meter. I believe that all women are born full and radiant and over-flowing with passion and purpose. As life goes on, some of the pure joy and innocence are taken away and replaced with vulnerability and control. Let’s see where your Power Meter is and look at what we can do to take back the power in your life!
*This was not based on a scientific study it is strictly used as a visual tool. |
How full is yours? |
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